Precious!!!!!

For Pete's sake. Call the marriage off. We're dun.

If you know me, you know that I lose everything. When I graduated from high school, my friends bought me one of those janitor keychains that clip to your side and has a retractable cord. This way, I could have my keys attached to my body at all times and still continue to be undesirable to men throughout college. Whether I was sleeping, driving, brushing my teeth, you name it – keys were still findable . They were plastered to my hip. I think the keychain eventually broke, but I didn't lose my keys for at least a year. It didn't matter though – I was busy losing other things. My purse, my cell phone, clothes, jackets, shoes, my virginity.

Time has allowed me to overcome this disease. I no longer lose things.

I misplace them for less than a day.

John would call B.S. on this statement, except for one simple fact. He lost his wedding ring on Friday, therefore making his opinion null and void in the state of Indiana. He was golfing at an outing in Kentucky, and decided to put the sacred sacrament of our holy union in his pocket for safekeeping. By the end of the day, he realized that ... his precious was gone.

He called on his way home from the tourney, and delicately mentioned he hit a 30 yard putt and
his wedding ring was lost forever. Thankfully, he asked one of the greenskeepers to keep an eye out for a small, white gold ring on the 18-hole golf course. I'm sure they'll find it.

Although I spared him the guilt trip initially, it is now the greatest weapon in my satchel. Throughout the evening, I dropped, 'and you lost your wedding ring' at least a dozen times into conversation.

Happy seven month anniversary. That is all.